六月第十一天 11 June

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7 days to my first also last paper, right in the middle of depression. The sunlight in the morning did make this depression fade away a bit, if it was not the preparation of a even more severe depression mode. You see, depression does not always link to those who never open up their mouths. We have the variability, as some of my friends, I’m not trying to say they are like me, but they are kind of people who always talk talk and talk, if there’s a time of being quiet with the existence of them, the word “weird” will straightaway come up in your mind. What’s wrong? Yep, the thing is recently they have claimed themselves to be officially depressed, oh I should say not they, but their doctors.

Compared with them, my depression mode seems like a joke. But I do feel I have nothing much to say. Everyday conversation with friends sounds like repeating the same topic over and over again, yet, nothing new comes. Then tonight my friend told me why not record the stuff in my mind here. I said good idea.

Tonight my question will be, What’s wrong…?

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六月第八天 8 June

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The 11-day break till my first paper, also my last paper never seems that long. Usually when I have such long-time-of-nothing-important-to-do, it made me come to slight depression and emo, particularly for such a procrastinating person. Friend told me I was always thinking lots of things, most of which are useless. And that is more than ture: staying at the corner of the bleak room thinking of loneliness and being stranged of not getting any phone calls. Then comes to God and asking is it normal or not. Guess this is the part A of me.

Part B of me is more than welcomed. It often appears at the situation of talking to close friends or someone I care, most time is a one-by-one comfortable private talk. The slight depressive and emo person suddenly changes to easy-going humourous one, usually filled with cold laughes. I have to admit I often polish a lot of stuff, which may even not be true, just for the sake of “smoothy” conversation, or to make myself look a bit different (commonly known as show-off). I dunno, but this’s truely a sin, a big one.

im writing this because someone has just shown me her blog, which gave me a totally different impression as the previous one, in a good way indeed. I like friends who are willing to share their lifestories, and the true sides of him/her, if not one. I also like someone who understand my bad joke and give me back a even same bad respone. Appreciated.

六月

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或许人生就是因为这些那些不知道的未来的事而变得美好 永远都不知道有时候一个莫名的决定就影响了之后很长的日子

也希望自己能够在过去中成长 有时候真的会觉得想每分每秒都想向神祷告 如果那样可以让我平静 因为一些神的话 可能转眼之间就忽略了 就一带而过了 wish Father can forgive all my sins.

让我不再着急 让我能够安静等待 做好一切 神自然会铺路

周日去做礼拜 听到了她的见证 很惊讶 因为以前总觉得在台上做见证总是有一些奇迹,亦或伟大的事迹在那里 可以听到很多过山车式的人生阅历 其实不然 平凡也可以很震撼 甜美的声音加相似的经历让我很感动

现在觉得不论遇到什么事情 不去想结果,只要努力,安心祷告,或许就是最好的结果

昨日失眠的时候在人人上看到朋友转到

“如果我们是在彼此最闪光的时候相遇,是好的,因为我们知道自己爱了一个值得爱的人,他/她有能力经营好自己的生活;如果我们是在彼此最狼狈的时候相遇,也是好的,因为我们知道自己爱了一个坚强的人,即使遇挫,也可以相濡以沫。我只是希望在上帝安排给我的一切美好与挫折接踵而至的时候,我始终能足够宁静的来接受这一切。唯有安宁,才能认真的生活,唯有认真生活的,才会有人爱,才会有神爱。”

这个六月 注定不一样 身边的朋友一个一个的诉说着自己的惊喜 在表达一切的不相信之后 感叹道 this world…

希望能够在上海遇见 这样就能一起去国礼做礼拜啦:)

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